Crumbling

I am crumbling

So let me crumble.

That which I was

trying to be was

never going to be enough.

I have stepped into the

fire and I am

at the well

asking for just one

drink

of water.

I have walked to the tree as many times

as I can handle

blowing my whistle.

Eagle cry--

I spread my eagle arms

to the Great Mystery

and I ask to take

one drink.

One rest.

One step.

I know that what I need now

is rest.

I know that I push myself too hard

in the wrong directions.

I am done with the pushing.

I am finished

belaboring the point.

I stand at your sacred feet

and let your waterfall love

wash over my face.

I cup my hands under your

sacred spring

and let the fresh life-giving

liquid spill onto me.

I Surrender.

I Surrender.

I Surrender.

Say it three times and

it might become true

A magic spell.

I am already enough,

Dear Spirit,

Let my sacred compassion

fill my cup now.

Let me, Great mystery,

recognize the parts of me that

are you,

that are enough,

Let my Self well up

with an eternal spring

of joy and love

Free from self-recrimination.

Let me see that I am.

That I am.

That I am.

I am you.

Let me see the truth of who I am.

Let me be washed free

and the anchor let loose,

falling down to the 

bottomless depths.

Let me lift up to join you,

sacred union.

Let me be free of fear

and free of the parts of me

that hold on too tightly.

Let me trust love now.  

9/19/14

Lyric

The golden-haired girl and the singing children

Matteo said they would guide me to the next step.

Hair like Lyra, I imagine, long and flaxen,

But what if it’s not that way at all? What if she

is not a child,

or what if my inner child

I had long golden locks when I was small.

And what of the singing children?

Could there be something as simple

as Sesame Street

“Sunny Days,

Everything’s A-OK.”

And this curandera

could be Darcey. Could be

the doula

who will help me birth this next thing

I don’t have to solve anything

because it is already written.

Just play.

And know that you are being welcomed

into the dream world now.

Know that. You

no longer have to fight

in the mad world.

Surrender.

A letter to the Great Mystery

Let me be not afraid

Even though everything I have known

is falling away.

Let me not regret the choices I have made.

Let me remain conscious

that I had good reasons

for making them.

Let me stay mindful

in my next steps.

And let me not be afraid to walk up ladders

even when I feel that I am kicking down

virtues

with every step.

Let me be aware, Dear Spirit,

that I am following my guides

through the dark forest

and I will soon come to the place

where the ancestors meet.

Let me stride up and take my place at the table.

Dear Spirit, I know that I

have nothing to fear.

I see your kind hands, inviting me into my future.

And like a caring, confident mama bird,

You have tossed me out of the nest.

I will not tumble, Great One.

I will fly.

The call

Even though I am in pain
I still love myself deeply and unconditionally.
Even though I have hurt someone 
I still love myself.
Deeply/Unconditionally.

Spirit hear my call.
I know I have done things which
are unforgivable in someone's eyes. 
But I forgive myself.
Spirit, here, 
my call. 

I am in a deep awe of your presence
in my each day.
Even though I am in pain, 
I forgive myself. 

Spirit, hear my call. 
I love my
Self
Deeply/unconditionally.
Spirit. Please help me to forgive. 
Hear. My call.