When we Swam in Sunshine

(for R, J.)

Last night, across the miles, she took me there.
On the spiritual plane, we transcended form

we passed through the world of body on a beam of silvery light
flew over that cove of water,
where we were once mermaid and merman together

and I embraced you, trembling.
We did not need words to know what had to be completed.

Where we could not be together physically, our bodies took form in another way
we each held the other’s body in our arms and rocked together, out there, in the place that has no name, the formless place.

Facilitated by this medium- this witchy woman- who was embarrassed to be there, seeing what she was seeing
she held the space for us and we came together.

I came to you, waiting for me there, as if you had called me; and you entered me so easily and we were joined in a holy communion,
your body inside me, the way it never was.

Spiritual synergy, as one we became what was meant by the world, in that sunny cove
under a vast blue sky in the green water, waist-deep; slippery rocks under our feet and
the rocks towering above us on either side were our spirit guides, holding us in that sacred space.

What we could not let ourselves have, we had.

Our spirit-hearts joined and our bodies melted into each other in that warm soup, that water which was formless, that warm/cool place

Which is before time, before birth, and after everything.

Now I know that I will always have you,
even though I cannot have you.