Seven-Seven

The first time I laid eyes on you

I knew that fucking you would be poetry

The first time I brought you home

I knew I’d write you so many love poems

you’d run out of shoe boxes to put them in.

The first time you placed your lips on mine

I said “More.”

The first time my fingers found the soft hollow of you

I knew I’d found home.

The first time you let me into your heart

I wanted to let go of everything else so I could move in.

And I did.

You unfolded your welcome mat and said “I have a place for you here."

The first time you wrote me a haiku I was hooked.

The first time you tried to tell me you weren’t good enough for me

I called you a liar.

The first time you cried in my bed I licked your tears and held you gently.

The first time you let me see your vulnerability I was scared

but I did not back down,

I dove into the deep waters of you instead.

The time I left my marriage for you,

my hands were shaking as much as my heart.

My head said, “What the hell are you thinking?”

But my heart knew if I didn’t grab on and let you take me with you

I’d stay small and shrivel up

And I wanted to grow huge with you.

I knew that we’d grow like giants together.

Like the oversized vine that insists on growing in our backyard

I knew that I could not stop this.

I knew if I tried to rip it out of the ground

it would have left a gaping hole where my soul was supposed to be.

The first time I saw a scene from one of our past lives,

I thought I was going mad;

But you held onto me and you believed me.

The first time I dove into the pool of you I didn’t even make a splash.

It was like you’d been waiting for me,

like you knew I’d be coming if you just made a space for me.

The first time I put my whole fist in you, you heard God.

The first time our souls swam together I felt like I was breathing for the first time.

The first time you held my hand it was magic.

The first time I couldn’t not touch you I knew I wanted to double-negative with you

forever.